Sisterhood Spotlight

Can you tell us about the birth of your granddaughter, Alex?

On October 30, 2018, my husband Randy and I were catapulted into a completely new world when our granddaughter, Alexandria “Alex” Grace, was born. She came one month early, weighed only 4 lbs. 11 ounces and was tiny and jittery. Unfortunately, she was born addicted to heroin, THC and nicotine. My daughter, Alex’s biological mother, had used those drugs earlier that day, which caused her to go into early labor. Sweet Alex had to be put on a morphine drip for every two hours for the first two weeks of her life, to help ween her off the drugs. Before I go any further, I will let you know that she was lucky, not only to be alive, but that she is a very healthy and happy toddler. Thank the good Lord!

After those two weeks passed, my husband and I brought Alex home from the hospital on Friday, November 11 around 5pm. Alex’s mother and father left separately “to go pick up some clean clothes and such.” They didn’t bother to show up until almost 11:00 that evening. They had gone out to get high again. Shortly after, they left again and we were left to care for the newborn, as it was clear she was now ours.

A few days later however, Alex’s mother showed up and took her over to a friend’s house (a friend that she was using heroin with). It turns out that the friend was living at home with his mother and step-father. Alex’s mother asked the friend’s mother to watch Alex and be her caregiver. Child Protective Services (CPS) immediately stepped in and removed Alex back to our care. 

Can you tell us what happened when Child Protective Services stepped in?

When that happens, CPS has to set a date with the court to finalize the custody arrangement. We were also notified that the friend’s mother had also wanted to gain custody of Alex, so we had to hire an attorney and face this random woman off in court. Thankfully, the judge awarded Alex to us and was very tactful in advising the friend’s mother to leave us alone.

What was it like for you, finding yourself in care of a newborn?

At the time, I was 49 years old and my husband was 58. We both had full-time jobs, three dogs and many other responsibilities to attend to. It was quite the wake-up call when we realized we were now in full baby mode and had to be on an every-two-hour feeding schedule! I kept saying to myself that I would not make it through the week…but every time, I would hear God say to me, “You got this…you are Francis!” (a personal joke between myself and my husband). And I was always reminded that God gave us what we knew we could handle. Well, I guess God thought we needed a challenge in life, because that is what this has been. A good challenge that we accepted, and a blessing that we were gifted with this beautiful child.  

As the days went on, we adapted to new routines and learned along the way that she preferred things a certain way. No socks; a cold, not warm, bottle; tummy time, not back time; eventually all of her toys had to be lined up in special order; she didn’t like anything out of order. She preferred good ole’ country and classical music and absolutely loved her new stuffed puppy “Ooofas,” for Rufus. She became the light of our lives and we found energy in our aging bodies that we didn’t know existed. She was our purpose in life after a rather boring existence of eat, sleep, work, repeat.

How do you see Alex’s relationship with her birth parents in the future?

We are Mommy and Daddy and Alex doesn’t know any other parents in her life. One day, she will start asking why we are so old with gray hair and wrinkles and when that time comes, we will explain the situation to her. She will be told that her parents love her, but are just not able to overcome some demons in their lives right now. And if ever comes a day that they can get clean and remain that way, we will encourage visitations with them.

So four years later, we have made it thus far and are in the process of adopting her. She will now become a “Francis” and will, too, have the spirit of, “You got this…you are now a Francis.” After all, she beat heroin, she can do anything!

Visit the First Lady’s Women+girls (W+g) page and the Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services (DBHDS) website for resources on substance use disorder services and other behavioral health information.

About Laurie and Randy Francis

Randy and Laurie Francis, after meeting as next-door neighbors, were married in 2009. Laurie, who was born in Richmond, attended Chesterfield County Schools, worked most of her adult life in the private sector and is now the Executive Assistant to the Secretary of Public Safety and Homeland Security. At the time they were married, Laurie had a teenage daughter from a previous marriage. Randy, who was born in Lynchburg, is a disabled veteran of two military branches and spent numerous years in homeland security positions, is a 35-year career employee of the Commonwealth of Virginia. He currently is employed at the Virginia Department of Wildlife Resources. Randy and Laurie have legal and physical custody of their granddaughter, Alex, whose birth parents have abandoned, and are in the process of legally adopting her as their own. Their goal is to eventually retire to a nice piece of land with a home in the country where Alex can run and play and spend more time with nature (and less time with technology). Randy and Laurie hope to then spend more time with Alex and their German Shepherd, Jolene “The Wonder Dog,” along with the donkey for which Alex keeps asking, but they have no room for in the suburbs of Richmond where they currently make their home.